February 21, 2009

the most ambitious one now holds a smoking gun

i've decided to make all my titles song lyrics. and if you know what song it's from, that's a bonus. i researched more about getting a sleeve tattoo on google. but first of all, ever got the feeling that you don't know how much of a dick you've been until someone is that much a dick to you. i got my first hater reviews. it's seems it was the hot topic of just about everyone's blogs. and almost all of them said that it was a stupid idea. but you know what john lennon said? "life is what happens when you're busy making other plans." and i don't want to get caught up in manufactured drama and forget to live a little. i'm completely braced for the fact that i'm going to do stupid things in my life and regret many of them. but if you ask me, regret is proof that you lived. so i'm getting that sleeve tattoo. and from what i've read and heard, it sounds like it's going to hurt A LOT on the underside of my arm. but fuck that, i want a wrap around! it's going to take about 5 hours to get it all at one time. but jensen said he would help us. just the awkward silence on the ride might be the tricky part. i used to be worried about how i'm going to hide it but i had another self realization. it's stupid to hide who you are. and if this sleeve is going to ink a symbol of who i am onto my skin, i don't want to hide it. anyway, i've been more thoughtful and sweet (this post doesn't exactly reflect on that well but you get the idea. or at least people who know me in real life should...) you may remember, but you may not. i can be notoriously dark but i'm trying to establish a better sense of self and i'm finding that underneath it all, the pieces of who i once was are still there. and they play a big role in who i am now. what? i'm a writer! well that's enough for now. tomorrow meena said she would help me find a job. i'm 16 and everyone could use some extra change. i'll have to keep anyone reading this blog updated on my employment. that's all for now. but the new chapter of confessions is coming between monday and thursday so i should be giving you something to read soon. that's weird. the first time i wrote that sentence i speeled "monday" money. i really need a job...

by the way, i'm a little disappointed guys! the blog title is from '...but home is nowhere' by AFI. i AT LEAST expected you to know, kelly! kidding.

2 people cared to comment:

Beverly said...

hehe 95% of my song titles are song lyrics.
your one is classifieds by the academy is :) my very first TAI song.

Molly Miss Brightside said...

i knew what it was from too! yay me!

Molly

ps: post another chapter of confessions!! :D