trying to forget everything that isn't you

miss me? Im back from a huge unintentional blogging hiatus. sorry to everyone who reads confessions and wants me to post another chapter. Im about half way done with chapter 9 and I promise you all it by tonight. but this isnt a blog for me to advertise my writing. it's about what I think and if you don't care what I think, why are you reading this? so lets come back to the hot topic of my tattoo. admittedly, yes, Im not going to be getting a sleeve tattoo. but I stand by saying that Im getting a tattoo even if meena isnt coming with me. Im getting a tattoo on my chest. just writing across my chest. its going to say "love doesn't walk away, people do" but I havent planned out the frills. but Ill leave that up to the artist. meena is talking about not getting a tattoo and I would never make her. shes thinking about getting a offbeat piercing instead but Ive been thinking that we wanted to get tattoos. we didnt just want to do something rebellious and offbeat it was about the tattoos. Im hoping she comes with me and gets a tattoo of her own but Im starting to think that she just wont. but in another moment of honesty, Ill tell you. the post title "trying to forget everything that isnt you" is about HER. Ive been really stressed thinking about her and getting really worried. it seems like shes going through something pretty hard but she doesnt want to tell me. I respect that, but weve always told each other everything so its weird for either of us to not want to tell the other something. heh. the more I tell you the more I start getting the feeling and me and meenas story is really typical. Ive always hated stories about the childhood best friend where the girl falls for the guy but it takes the whole book for the girl to tell him and the guy to figure it out. sometimes I worry that me and meena are just one of those. but the difference between whats happening to us and those sarah dessen type books is that this is real. meenas not some whining "feel sorry for me" defenseless girls who in the beginning of the book is rigid and defends herself and then completely flops into being completely dependent. Im not one of those hopeless romantic guys who is always way to romantic with their mushy childhood friend. meena isnt writing hopeless "you don't notice me" poetry well the guy just can't take a clue. the poetry meena writes is always about other people whether anyone believes that or not. meenas not in some unbelievably bad situation that Ill come swooping in and save her from so she can cry into me. so to make a long story short, were not them. but as I said in my last post, I need to know that meenas ok. its a necessity. its not sarah dessen, it's life. real life.